Bad Translation

While members of my family were visiting us here in Europe over the holidays we found ourselves being amused by how horribly some translators had managed to mangle the English language on printed materials, such as menus, hotel regulation pamphlets and toy packaging.

After they had all left, I came into possession of what may well be the most mis-translated piece of packaging which has ever been printed. My mother-in-law bought L a really cheap toy laptop which supposedly teaches children Spanish, but which actually has many keys which produce sounds and words that have no connection with the letters and numbers printed on them.

Anyways, the instructions on the box are in "English," but only in the sense that the words are recognizable English words. The grammar and the sentence structure seems to be from a wholly unearthly language.

For your viewing pleasure, I have typed out the instuctions below. I have also tried to reproduce the punctuation and formatting as faithfully as possible, but some stuff I just couldn't recreate using a standard keyboard.

Keep in mind that these instructions were written in English by someone in China wanting to sell a Spanish speaking toy in Romania. Something was bound to get lost in translation somewhere.


Characteristics
Work Electric voltage:DC 4.5v
Altogether 45 keys
26 letter of alphabets key, A- Z
piece character key, 1-10
4 Melodies key, an animal key.
1 tone color key,1 Demo Melody key,
1 animal sings a song the key
3 Modes key
Two.The function says all:
Melody Key. Under any mode the function is constant namely:
A. Press animal key, have the “Di” a musical instrument for.
at the same time Mode3 key tone color change for dog
B. tone color key, the hair” Di” a musical instrument for.
Mode3 key tone color changes Piano tone color.
C. the key of Demo Melody, continue to sing 2 Melodies song.
D. the animal sings a song the key. Singing the 1 head :Speech Melody.
2. Mode1:
Here the mode is next, pressing letter of alphabet.
arithmetic figure key, reads aloud the letter of alphabet.
arithmetic figure.
3. Mode2:
Here the mode is next, pressing letter of alphabet
arithmetic figure key. The side reads aloud first the spelling.
then read aloud to should of word.
4. Mode3:
Here the mode is next. Pressing letter of alphabet key to then read aloud first the word.
again the hair is a rightness of should of sound effect:Press arithmetic figure key.
Then play the key with the current tone color.

Special Phoneme:
Bell Telephone
Piano Violin Xylphone